Nobody Asked Me But,

Each week, we offer comments about the state of the human condition on planet Earth.

I have never used text messaging. Exactly how has my life suffered?

People leaving a movie theater immediately put a cell phone to ear. Are they interested in telling friends about the movie or are they concerned the Earth has been destroyed whle they were watching a movie?

Why don’t they invent sideview mrrors that don’t have blindspots?

John McCain reminds me of Uncle Bill. You kow, the uncle who is always telling stories, usually about himself.

Bill and Hillary portray themselves as the enemy of the “elite.” I guess when you have a $100 million in the bank and graduated from Harvard as well as being a Rhodes scholar that certainly places you among we common folk.

What is the etiquette when a person with whom you are walking talks nonstop into a cell phone?

I was watching three women examining coffee pots for about a half hur. I could not conceive of spending more then two minutes on the task.

What is the origin of women carrying handbags but not men?

One knows that age is now a permanent resident within one’s body when compelled to walk up four flights of stairs.

Have you ever noticed that when three are couples together who obiously are old friends, each of them gets into a role? One may become the listener, another the talker, and so on…

I fell asleep in a mall while writing this material. I could have slept forever without anyone inquiring about me.

I parked my car, opened the door, got out, and there was a quarter on the ground. This is a very common occurrence for me and during the past ten years I have collected about $800. But, I can never win any lottery or even at bingo. I think God has a warped sense of humor.

I rarely see three men together at a movie theater but often see three women. Why?

When was the last time you met someone who wore a flag pin?

I saw a sign in a shop that read: “Tanning And Travel.” Is the tan before or after the travel?

I usually allow people to make a left turn even while in heavy traffic. Does this give me an automatic entry pass into Heaven?

I went to get a haircut. The barber asked if I had served in the military. I said I was in during the Korean War. He shook my hand and thanked me. I shook my head as I left. Sorry, but I worked at army headquarters during the war.

Thee is nothing lonelier than a college campus on the weeks after the end of the spring semester. I think Freddie Kruger lurks in darkened corners.

Bush has a smirk, Bill Clinton has a handshake, Hillary has a look that could kill, Obama has open arms and love. Me, I have a sly grin.

I am a retired person who works from home. I do not in my daily life have opportunites for verbal interplays of the work place. Am I better or worse off?

I can never read a book while sitting at a table and eating. I need a chair and quiet.

Do people still offer to “work for nothing” in order to “get a foot in the door?” I do.

High school graduations in May shock me. I’m from New York where we attended school until the end of June.

How many mothers and daughters have you seen who have the same height and weight?

It is difficult for me to watch Christians eat bagels. I was raised in an ethnic area where only Jews ate bagels. My teachers were “Irish” and they would not be within miles of a bagel, let alone eat one.

If you want to turn me off, start talking about female basketball. l love sports, but retain elements of my male chauviistic pig attitude toward women athletes. I’m working on my attitude, but I doubt if I will ever get interested in girl basketball

Is Paris Hilton still exploring the world of work? Then again, who cares.