Nobody Asked Me But,

If you see three people walking together, it is most likely the person in the middle does more talking than the other two.

I saw a girl walking in the park holding a bottle of water, talking on a cellphone and carrying a laptop. What is she doing in a park?

I watched a one year old chasing birds on the grass and trying desperately to touch and hold one. It proves humans from birth seek touch and love.

If you stop at a roadside restaurant named, the Dixie Stop, chances are high at least one waitress will have the name of Mabel.

There is nothing more mid-western American than four heavy set men at a table drinking coffee, talking and laughing. That’s why a prefer a roadside restaurant any day over a fast food place.

Why is it I always reach the point in the highway where they are ready to open a third lane the week before it opens?

A long legged tall women is, be definition, attractive to me.

There was a deer dead in the road. A jump too short.

My windshield wiper broke along with the storm breaking. This is God’s quirky sense of humor in action.

Never order a cup of decaffeinated coffee in a roadside restaurant. The regular coffee is bad enough.

The men’s rest room was closed for cleaning so I used the alternative. On second thought, I should have used the one closed for cleaning.

If the police go at 80 miles per hour, does that mean I can?

In my bagel shop the nice lady always comes round to refill the coffee and calls me “hon.” At age 77, the word “hon” is cherished.

I miss picking up a library book which indicates when the book was previously read. Now, with those damn computers I never can tell when the book was read.

I miss Saturday night when we got the Sunday paper so we could read tomorrow’s news today.

July 4th used to be a day in America when an American baseball fan could see two games for the price of one. We have definitely surrendered that aspect of our freedom to the businessmen who now run baseball.

The language of politics has been contaminated by self righteousness people’s voices. In the old days, the Irish politicians who ran the Democratic Party understood politics was like a sporting event. Win a few, lose a few, and, anyway, there is always next year.

If you encounter four Japanese tourists anywhere in America at least one has a camera and it is aimed at you.

Why do Ron Paul supporters always refer to him as “Dr” Paul? The man is a medical doctor, not a doctor of philosophy!

If a Supreme Court decision is in accord with conservatives it is merely judges obeying the Constitution. If it goes against their beliefs, it is an example of “activist judges” who interpret the Constitution their way.

I rarely see shirtless lean males walking the streets. Is it because there are fewer lean young males or is it because they have some aversion to going out without a shirt?

There should be a law requiring the bottom half of the bagel to be eaten before the top half. It is definitely God’s thirteenth commandment.

I always wonder on holidays if the mail is still being flown around the world or do postal employees also get a day of rest.

My first act as dictator of America is decreeing only bikes can be driven in urban areas.

I once brought a mid-West Einstein cinnamon bagel to my bagel place in New York. Fred, the owner gave me a dirty look and I thought he would ban me from the place. In my childhood there were only plain, salt, and poppy seeded bagels.

I rode on several buses in Chicago and most people on them were white skinned. That certainly is not the case in New York City.