Each week, we offer biased and completely unproven observations on the human condition through the lens of a 77 year old boy

Nobody Asked Me But,

My main problem with creationism is surely God did not act God like in creating we violent humans.

John McCain says “we are all Georgians.” I am, but so am I an Alabaman, Kentuckian, Virginian, etc…

I prefer newspaper delivery boys to men since they always got the paper delivered on time and left it in the same spot each day.

I invariably make a mistake trying to convert letters to numbers on the telephone. The good news is I wind up talking with interesting strangers.

Obama sometimes reminds me of a rookie who has always had success and now is in the big leagues where he invariably makes rookie errors.

I am a confirmed conservative when it comes to trying a new fruit. The man at the fruit stand finally got me to try a new cherry. It was good, but I went right back to traditional cherries.

If there are four people in a booth who are talking, the person at the end invariably gets up to get everyone a fresh cup of coffee.

I wonder if among all life forms in the universe if there are other ways life forms dispose of waste other than shitting.

A major problem in the summer is whether I should allow peaches an extra day to ripen by leaving them in a hot car.

Monday night at Pasta House is all you can eat. I finally figures out their strategy. They heap the first plate with a huge amount of spaghetti and subsequent amounts come in small plates.

I always struggle in a bank as to whether I should use their pen or my own. In the end, I use their pen to save my ink. I was raised in the Depression and ink is money.

No restaurant ever lost money on a buffet. I once knew a man named Irv who escaped
Chicago gangsters to open a restaurant in rural Missouri where he was the only Jew in town. He had the best breakfast buffet known to man and he told me the above.

I do not purchase high cost cheese. Cheese is cheese and for one born in the Depression, money is more important than taste.

I have great empathy for Russians. I will never forget their heroism during World War II. They did the majority of fighting against Nazi Germany. Unfortunately, most people under forty have no idea about their contribution to victory in WWII.

The only fiction I read these days is science fiction. I must leave this crazy planet every so often and get some hope there is peace somewhere in the universe.

Is it proper for two conversations to take place at a table containing five people?

I recently went for an eye exam. I believe if given the choice, I would give up hearing instead of sight even though it meant the end of music.

What is the probability a man with white hair will be sitting in a coffee shop working at his laptop? Not high.

If there are three men and two women at a table, the chances are the single man does most of the talking since husbands will defer more frequently to their wife in a conversation.

The greatest joy of a father is having his son and daughter date neat people. It makes one feel they did something right as a father.

They have been working for a year in St. Louis on Highway 40 which has been shut during repairs. In World War II, the Seabees built roads and airfields in days. And, there were no private contractors to make money and louse up the work.

Among my fondest childhood memories is sitting on the corner talking with friends at 2:00 a.m. when the bagel man came to deliver bagels. We always got hot salt bagels for free.

I invariably refer to senior citizens as “those old people” and never include myself. I feel like a twenty year old in my mind.

In most families which contain three or more children, one usually winds up as the sane one. Of course, there is always a crazy one.

I think we should discover the average weight of people who eat at fast food places. Then, have that figure posted prominently.

At age 77, my mind is always thinking about projects I will do ten years from now. It keeps one young at heart.

Americans who want their leaders to “have balls” invariably wind up with people who use words rather than intelligence to guide their actions.

Every one should be required to bring a bag for their groceries. My mom always brought one.

Have you ever met anyone who actually won money playing the lottery? I haven’t.

I wonder how our national debt would be if no store allowed people to charge with a credit card more than $100 on a purchase.

I know the tellers at my bank but they demand proof of who I am when I want to cash a check.

I prefer drinking from a bottle. In my youth we always drank from the same bottle as our friends. Of course, before taking a swig one rubbed his hand over the top.

I still wear khaki pants. Some Army habits never disappear.