Each week we offer the unsubstantiated personal opinions of a 78 year old man’s meandering observations on the human condition.

Nobody Asked Me But,

People who wear informal clothes on Sunday for church surprise me.

I ordered flowers for my daughter and the person taking the order made four mistakes, but concluded with, “thank you for your order and we look forward to serving you again.”

A child following mom around in a supermarket has a forlorn look.

Gas prices are below $2. I am scared, are you?

Hell for a teacher is a silent class.

In St. Louis during the week, many fast food places close at 9:00 p.m. It’s St. Louis.

In sports it is better to be lucky than good.

I was agitated when I entered a rest room reeking of smell. I feared that as I exited and someone entered they would blame me for the smell.

I prefer the inside lane in a two lane left turn. It feels more secure.

I support conservation of resources but prefer a paper towel to wipe my hands than warm air.

Veterans Day for me will always be for veterans of World War I.

The price of gas hit $1.75. Does this mean I should do more driving?

I enjoy when they hold conferences where I work. I get free bagels and sweets.

The flashing lights of a police car pulling someone over to the side mean he was in the wrong place at the wrong time since everyone speeds.

An old geezer like me on a college campus gets smiles and nods from attractive girls. In my youth I never would have gotten a nod.

Sarah Palin is obviously an attractive woman. I just don’t think her face will age well. Faces of ugly guys like me age much better than those of attractive women.

After the last election, America needs some laughter. Regardless of his political views I thought Al Franken would do well in the Senate. After all, aren’t all senators comedians at heart?

I have a hunch the graduating class of June, 2009 will wish they had been part of the graduating class of June, 2008.

Price reductions abound. Does that mean(a) the price was raised and then reduced, (b) the price is reduced from the original price, (c) same price, new sign?

I have never figured out whether to use an aspirin, tylenol or Advil.

Stephon Marbury, the guard on the New York Knicks gets $21 million to sit on the bench. Does anyone know of any benches in search of a tusch?

I have a hunch Michelle Obama will not only be the first black First Lady, but the tallest.

My dream is to own a movie theater with a bagel/coffee shop upstairs that is in a library.

A man was sitting at a table talking. These days I didn’t know if he was crazy and just talking to himself or there was a cell phone somewhere.

I have yet to figure out what is the best time of the day to rent a video from the video machine.