Each week we offer the completely unproven remarks by a 78 year old mind commenting on the human condition.,

Nobody Asked Me But,

I see signs advertising, “Kids Eat Free,” but I never see signs advertising, “Adults Eat Free” with each meal purchased by a child.

I guess turkeys are not benefitting from the Great Recession. They are still being killed and eaten.

I believe it is midnight for the TV series, “24” and its nonstop ridiculous violence.

I do not believe it is criminal to take ketchups when you ordered a coffee.

I have never seen a person renting a DVD from a video machine early in the morning.

I hate phone numbers presented as letters rather than numbers. They are phone, “numbers,” not phone letters.

There is always a moment of confusion and wonder arriving at your work place when there are only a few cars around. I invariably wonder if I missed a holiday.

I can never figure out why women wearing jeans have on high heels.

I believe there is a new spirit of compassion in America-that’s what recessions do to people. Many who have been with are now without.

I think many people this year will purchase Xmas presents the day after Xmas.

There is nothing more dangerous in a parking lot than a senior citizen behind the wheel and anxious to get home.

I tried getting a pill out of the wrapping. It makes one wonder if NOT taking pills is the prescription given by the doctor to the pharmacy.

People in suburban St. Louis rarely go “downtown.” To them, a trip to the “city” is going to Fenton, Missouri.

I do not understand why anyone would pay $5 for an egg sandwich. It basically consists of a 20 cent egg on a ten cents two slices of bread.

Among my first acts as dictator of America, is sending to jail, anyone calling people and beginning with, “I know you are in debt, and let me tell you……

I enjoy competition but attempting to determine which supplementary medical plan for Medicare is the best is beyond my comprehension.

I have a hunch a department store this year could clean up with an ad– everything is free, just pay checkout fees.

In olden days, workers had to ask permission to use the toilet, today they chat on cell phones while working.

The sneeze of an allergy is more powerful than that of a cold.

I can never enter a restroom if I see the man who enters right in front of me. I can handle anonymous defecation, but knowing defecation is not something I can deal with.

I prefer oatmeal raisin cookies to all others.

I have frequently thought of opening a supermarket that only catered to those plus 60. Everything would be in slow motion, the food would be cooked, and there would be shuffleboard upstairs.

I wonder if email eventually will replace mailmen.

I guess the most recession proof occupation is being an undertaker.

There are no “Muslim terrorists,” there are “terrorists.” I never read anyone described as a “Protestant criminal.”