NOBODY ASKED ME BUT,

Each week we offer the biased and unscientific observations of a sick 78 year old man’s mind as he comments on the human condition.

Nobody Asked Me But,

There is no more joyous sight than preschoolers encountering the first snow of the year.

We need holidays like Thanksgiving so scattered members of the family have an excuse to come together.

I am not required to give a “God Bless You” to an unseen man in a toilet who sneezes.

Always hit your favorite pancake house about 1:00 p.m. in order to quickly get a table.

I had my car checked. There is something about the aroma of tires that intrigues me.

I always wonder at what point in time do your children pick up the dinner tab.

At age 78, I prefer the wind at my back to my face.

Elderly men wear baggy pants but become furious at their grandsons who wear baggy pants. Such is life.

I am convinced 20% of men entering a restaurant head immediately for the rest room. Only a small percent of women make that trip.

It should be against the law to make a cell phone call when the waitress is taking food orders.

In modern life, children tower over parents. I wonder if this was true in the time of the cro-magnons.

I prefer chatting with waitresses in the morning but not at night.

If three males are seated at the bar when you enter, do you initially shake hands with the guy in the middle or the guy at an end?

A single man enters a bar and shakes hands, a single woman enters a bar and exchanges hugs.

I have never entered the brotherhood of beer drinkers. Exactly what have I missed?

There were two women at a bar. One talked on her cell phone while the other gazed mournfully into her glass. Modern friendship in action.

I hate the moment on a sun filled day in the fall when sun hits the windshield and you can’t see. Why am I always facing in the wrong direction?

I gather Sarah Palin gazed into jewelry store windows so she can obtain jewelry from the Republican Party Committee.

Managers of car repair establishments always speak very softly.

I wonder if in 2020 anyone except the bosses in charge of everything will have a permanent position in a company.

There is always a line from Shakespeare that fits any moment in life. The winter of 2008 is the winter of my discontent.

I leave my house at various times in order to discover the exact correct moment to deprt in order to avoid heavy traffic.

I am always driving in the direction with heavy traffic. I think God is a traffic cop who wants to torment me.

I am always fascinated by the intricate ways in which people use cell phones. I use them to call or receive one. I am a Depression baby, have pity on me.

A single woman dressed in black sitting at a bar is an automatic center of mystery.

There is always that moment of uncertainty when the party of eight arrives in twos when it is unclear how many tables to put together.

Give a child a crayon and paper and she is perfectly content.

Athletes wander around with gold chains and gold watches and wonder whey they are the object of robbery.

I prefer unlocking my car door with a key. I want to be in control, not depend on some piece of electronics.

At age 78 I find myself working under people who lack my knowledge and skills and also lack the common sense to learn from me.

Somehow, I doubt that John McCain will invite Sarah Palin to any event in his life.

A crowd on Long Island trampled to death a Wal-Mart greeter. Folks, it is Wal-Mart, just exactly what is it you think will run out of stock!!

There are rumors Jeb Bush will run for senator from Florida. I gather he will run under the name of Jeb Tree.