Each week we offer speculations on the human condition from the mind of a 78 year old man.

Another sign of the recession is that my bank no longer offers free cookies.

I paid $1.25 for a bagel. In my youth they cost a penny.

Police should not be allowed to hide in order to catch speeders. Hiding is so criminal.

February Saturdays and Sundays are a void for a sport fanatic like me.

I always regard tall skinny men as intelligent. I have no reason for this belief.

I do not believe cave people said, “God bless you” for a sneeze.

I did not find many places that offered free goodies on Valentine Day.

I am very optimistic. Half my life savings are gone, I have no steady job and no idea how I will make money next year, but I still have this optimistic view of life. I assume that I am slipping into dementia.

There is something lonely about the parking lot of a medical building on Sunday morning.

As a couple grows older they grow closer and come to share the same color hair.

I love old people, I just hate being behind one when it comes to pay at the cash register.

A restaurant advertised, “half price Happy Hour.” Does this mean I’m half as happy or half as drunk?

A setting sun is God’s greatest gifts to humanity.

I was in a restaurant and the manager was delivering food to tables. Is this another sign of the recession?

If a father and his son and two daughters enter a restaurant, the father and son sit on one side and the daughters on the other.

I was in a fast food restaurant and every single person working there was over weight.