NOBODY ASKED ME BUT,

The barren soil of Afghanistan is fertilized by the blood of too many innocent people.

I hope children still make images with their hands as we did in my childhood.

Hell for Dick Cheney would be to be locked in a room for eternity with Jon Stewart, Al Gore, and Michael Moore.

One day I will enter an eating establishment and there will not be a cell phone in sight.

Three elderly women facing two elderly men is the story of life and death.

I passed a store whose sign said, “Natural Way.” I gazed in the window and saw three green skinned life forms. I gather it is a Martian natural way.

If you want to anger any American youth under the age of 30 just use the word, “draft.”

Given the plethora of testing in America I wonder if I have to take an Exit Test. If I fail, do I have to remain alive?

At age, 78, the most ominous words I can encounter are: “I’m afraid you have a problem with your computer.”

Those who believe more time in school will produce better academic results are the same people who believe more money will solve problems.

College professors believe “tenure” is the 11th Commandment.

Modern communication spreads germs. It also spreads hysteria.

The best words for me to hear are: “my dad lived to be 98.”

I rarely see three people at a table who are of the same height and weight.

I feel a surge of power being able to say, “I want to see the manager.”

I decided to be a good citizen and halted at each stop sign.

I wonder if one can charge things in heaven or is it a cash only place.

Rush Limbaugh is a brave man. He attacks Colin Powell as a traitor to the Republican party. Rush Limbaugh is a brave man who bravely made certain he never got near fighting in Vietnam where Colin Powell risked his life every day. Rush Limbaugh is a brave man.

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