Non-News Stories Of The Day

There are items in the media these days which are of no interest to me or importance to the world.

1. Lindsay Lohan goes to jail. Frankly, the only interesting aspect is that someone sent this disturbed person, anywhere.

2. Donald Trump is ranting about the Obama birth. It would be more newsworthy if Donald Duck commented on it.

3. There was a royal wedding. Of course, I was not invited.

4. Sarah Palin commented on something today. So did Mike who collects the garbage.

5. Glenn Beck drew another line leading someplace. Besides knowing how to draw a line what exactly does one learn from the lines?

6. Barry Bond went to court and something was decided. Let’s all get high on this one.

7. Mitt Romney said something about something. Sorry, anyone who talks like a Mitt would, does not get my attention.

8. Newt is for values. As far as I am concerned he can explain his values to the ex-wives.

9. The New York Knicks lost again. They have been losing for a decade, so what’s newsworthy?

10. Michele Bachmann claims she knows the location of Libya. OK, that is sort of newsworthy.

11. LeBron James scored a basket. He always does.

12. There was an Easter egg hunt at the White House. I assume they did not find any jobs for the unemployed.

13. The issue is not Osama bin Laden dying, but the argument as to whether he is dead or not.

14. Traffic jams leading into and out from major cities.

15. The US has a national debt.