Today, we offer a selection of completely unimportant news stories.
Tiger Woods slept with his wife tonight.
Sarah Palin posed in a dress.
Barack Obama promised his children he would not give up enjoying their school work.
The Yankees did not spend $150 million on a new pitcher.
Glenn Beck was not angry at anyone or anything today.
Lou Dobbs did not hire an illegal immigrant to mow his lawn.
Tea Party ranters drank coffee at McDonald’s.
Prime Minister Netanyahu did not supervise construction of new housing on the West Bank.
No human rights activist was killed in Russia today.
There were parking spaces galore all over Manhattan.
No homicidal maniacs were released from jail today.