Off With Beard, Up With Penis!

Samuel Mullet is an Amish gentleman in Ohio who expresses severe anger toward  male members of his religion who fail to cut their beard. In case you do not know, the old Man up in the sky shaves every day and is furious when men go around with a beard. I understand this might come across as rather confusing since so many humans insist that God has a long white beard.

Mullet organized bands of Amish men to attack any male who did not agree with him and as punishment cut off their hair– a violation of the Amish religion. He currently is on trial for kidnapping and assault. However, Samuel has great concern for women and gives them counsel and support in his bedroom. Mullet’s daughter says her father has  had sex with many women while engaged with them to discuss their problems.

This man has found the perfect con. Set the mob against the husband, get him out of the way and then counsel the wife and seduce her. Off with the hair, up with your penis! And, you can argue that God ordered the sex!!