Oh, Them Clever Orientals!

We of the West have long known that Asiatics are sly and clever people who use their craft to steal ideas from we superior people, but French police now have concrete evidence of how Chinese use their wits to outwit the slow minded Europeans. Chinese businessmen were seen dipping their ties into a vat while on a tour of a building that was designing a new product. Another Chinese businessman was seen wearing crepe-soled shoes which he used to pick up bits and pieces of things on the floor. Undoubtedly, the ties were flown in a secret jet back to China along with the floor bits and pieces for analysis. French businessmen were invited to China for job interviews only to realize the questions were designed to find out all about the products of their companies. In other cases, prostitutes readily gave their bodies to French executives in order to learn business secrets.

I say we of the West have to combat China and the time is now. Let’s train prostitutes to walk the floors of Chinese factories picking up whatever they can. Of course, we could tape their sexual encounter and listen carefully what is said when the men come. Who knows what information we can learn about Chinese business from these gasps of delight?