ON BEING SELFISH

It is increasingly clear the Republican Party has adopted the ideas of Ayn Rand as their new Bible. We offer several statements regarding the philosophy of Selfishness.

1. To Republicans being selfish is a virtue leading to sainthood.

2. To Donald Trump, the end purpose in life is making money and the person who makes the most money has only one obligation in life–make more money.

3. Jesus Christ taught the God loved the poor. Republicans teach that God loves the wealthy. Why else could so many Republicans be wealthy?

4. If I am not the center of the world, who is? You really don;t mean that old fart up in the sky, do you?

5. Christ taught that we should be our brother’s keeper. Republicans teach f–k my brother, the lazy bum!

6. A “fair tax plan” according to Congressman Ryan is one in which the burdens of paying fall on the middle class and the poor. After all, they are not wealthy which proves they are inferior.

7. Republican theology teaches that society must unleash the wealthy and the crumbs of their endeavors will feed the less fortunate–those not wealthy.

8. Sarah Palin never met an “I” she could not utter.

9. According to Republicans Ayn Rand descended from Heaven with the blessing of Jesus Christ to spread her message of peace, and love for the wealthy.

10. To Republicans, accumulating wealth is akin to accumulating brownie points for Heaven.

11. When Republicans run Fire Departments it will require a certified check prior to having firemen put out the fire in your home. After all, the only reason one is a fireman is to make money, isn’t it?

12. If you are in combat, please check to see if the guy next to you is an Ayn Rand believer. Then, hop over to the Taliban side of the battlefield, you will be safer.

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