We offer advice to those visiting the nation’s capital.

1. Visit the Lincoln Memorial and weep at what happened to his political party.

2. Place a stink bomb in the House of Representatives to make it smell better.

3. Tell Barack Obama he doesn’t have BO so much as NB– No Backbone.

4. Drop by the office of Senator John McCain and ask where he keeps his guts.

5. Sit in the Supreme Court and listen to the sounds of silent idiocy uttered by Uncle Thomas.

6. Tell Michelle Obama the sixties are over as well as admiration for Jackie Kennedy and her beauty.

7. Say a prayer for America.

8. Take a lobbyist out to lunch at McDonald’s.

9. Search for the Garden of Knowledge and realize you are in the wrong town.

10. Go to the mall and visualize Martin Luther King speaking, then go to the House of Representatives and visit the office of Charlie Rangel.