President Assad Solves Problem

There are reports President Bashar al-Assad has finally figured out a way to end the turmoil in Syria. Yesterday, hundreds of thousands were again in the streets protesting the military assault on civilians who dare make clear their real feelings toward the government. many held up signs denouncing Assad, “Bashar Is A Vampire” being a typical comment on their beloved ruler. Over 1,400 are dead due to the protests and the economy is collapsing. After all if troops blast homes, destroy crops and animals and force factories to close eventually there will not be enough food. However, Bashar has finally found a solution to this problem. Among choices currently being discussed in the Cabinet are:

1. Kill several million people which should result in fewer being in the streets to complain.

2. Send millions to the border of Israel and shove them across it.

3. Place millions on a flotilla and send it toward Israel.

4. Get Biblical and kill every new born.

5. Become a conservative Muslim and have any woman in the streets sent to the nearest brothel.

I trust the president will consider these fresh ideas before taking any other action.