Due to our determined desire to find out the truth about Michele Bachmann, we are able to offer an inside presentation as to how her mind functions. This secret tape was made by sending a fly which got inside her mind.
“I just don’t understand things these days. A few months ago, everything looked so wonderful for me. I spoke with God just about every day and He said the nomination for president was a sure thing that He would bet on without a second thought. And, then that colored man began to say weird things and crack jokes and people thought he had a thought that made sense. Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against colored people, I even had dinner the other night with a group and one of them was colored. They have such wonderful white teeth and they smile so much.
Sometimes I want to say that I’m more Able than Cain, but I am afraid no one would think I could tell a joke. I am so serious that people take what I say as meaning what I am trying to say. I mean that stuff about Paul Revere, I knew he was for the colonists and not the British. Sometimes I think that Sarah is doing the right thing by going around in a bus and making oodles of money. Gee, if one is going to be famous, shouldn’t one also make some money?
I wish my hubby was as smart about economics as the people around Herman Cain. All this stuff about a flat tax or a tall tax just gets me confused. I was taught something about “progressive taxes” but I know that isn’t right because the word, Progressive means liberal. So, how could anyone be for a liberal tax? My hubby he other day said I should propose an 8-8-8 plan. But, I am confused. I know that 8 plus 8 plus 8 equals 24. But, I don’t know why we should have a 24% tax.
Sometimes I get real scared because some smart aleck reporter might start asking questions about all those weird places in the world. I just got around to finding out where Israel is, do I also have to know where this Tunisia is? I thought Tunisia was where they caught tuna fish.
Oh well, I guess it is time to buy a bus and hit the road. At least I will be in America.”