REPORT FROM PAKISTAN

We offer an uncensored account of how members of the Pakistan secret service, the ISI reacted to questions posed in the US Senate about actions on the part of Pakistan which resulted in arrests of several Pakistanis who were attempting to assist the US in destroying the Taliban and al-Qaeda.

General X: “We just examined a transcript of the Senate hearing at which Secretary of Defense was questioned regarding our actions in arresting subversives who help foreign governments. I am certain the US government arrests anyone who is spying for its allies such as England or France, so what is the big deal if we arrest those who spy for the US? A spy is a spy. We prefer Taliban spies because they listen to our advice, there is no sense helping those who do not accept our authority.”

Colonel Y: “Sir, American senators are upset because we allowed Osama bin Laden to live in open view of authorities.”

General X: “You mean that was wrong? Why? We created the Taliban and they do what we desire, so why should we kill members of a group that is on our side?”

Colonel Y: “Sir, the Taliban kill US and NATO soldiers, that sort of upsets some Americans.”

General X: “You mean it is wrong for the Taliban to kill Americans? They are simply trying to get foreigners out of their country. Of course, I mean the wrong kind of foreigners.”

Colonel Y: They claim we lie to them.”

General X: “Are you claiming it is wrong to lie? Gee, every nation lies. How could anyone have a foreign policy without telling lies?”

Colonel Y: “Sir, they really are upset.”

General X: “Oh, just have our lobbyists hand out a few million, that will keep American politicians quiet for the moment.”