Having nothing better to do with my time, I tuned in to the Republican candidates debate vital issues of our time. As best as I can recall, the group appeared to agree on the following:
1. Cut taxes.
2. Jobs are created by lower taxes.
3. They each have a family they love.
4. Of course, Newt Gingrich has three families, and at least one of them he loves.
5. Michele Bachmann believes in life.
6. All candidates believe in life.
7. Of course, all candidates believe in life in the womb, after that, it is every damn baby for him or herself.
8. Mr. Cain knows about pizza.
9. Tim does not like Romney’s Massachusetts health care program.
10. Mitt used to like his health care program until he discovered if he did, there would be no nomination for president.
11. America had a terrific economy until Obama came along and screwed it up with SOCIALISM!
12. There was not war in Iraq or Afghanistan until Obama began the wars.
13. Newt does want Muslims in our country because they are subversive. He’d like the whole four million to go back to where they came from.
14. Rick says there is proof he is the most pro-life person in the group. He used to be a life guard, and none of the others ever was!
15. Oh, Mr. Cain is black and was poor. So, what the heck is he doing with a bunch of white folk?
16. Michele has more children than anyone in the group. This proves it, she is the most qualified to run for president!
17. As far as I could tell, Newt did not ask his wife what he should say. Gee, I wonder if she is the next to get dumped??
18. If Anthony Weiner was in the debate he would win, hands-down– as the most moral person!