Heavy rains in south Australia have created a mice epidemic. Hundreds of thousands of mice are scurrying through farms consuming everything in sight. Some farmers are witnessing their pigs being assaulted by the mice which forces them to soak pigs in oil in order to create a nasty taste. The assault by mice on animals has created a problem for Republicans. Mice have rights. Mice have a right to live. Mice have a right to eat. After all, once government steps in to regulate what mice can eat, it deprives them of their free enterprise rights to become fat and wealthy. If Wall Street hedge managers can feast off the flesh of their clients, does this mean mice can feast off the flesh of pigs? Then again, one could classify the actions of Wall Street money gougers as sort of sneaky or is it they are the pigs in this saga of eating and consuming.

It is a fundamental belief of all free enterprise Republicans that each individual has a right to consume whatever he gets his hands–or mouth on– which means mice have rights in the land of Republicans. If we take away mice rights to eat pigs, does this mean we take away the rights of hedge fund managers to make a pig of themselves in their ravenous consumption of the wealth of Americans?

Flash News! Mitt Romney has made clear he defends the rights of mice to eat pigs in Massachusetts, but this does not mean what is good in Massachusetts is also good for the entire United States of America.