First, there was the son of a millionaire, then there was a woman from Minnesota who had several biological children and a dozen or so foster kids, then there was stumbling bumbling man from Texas who was undoubtedly an immigrant, given his difficulty with the English language, then there was a token black con man who sold pizza which to him was equivalent to selling America. Ah, but the field is not yet complete without mentioning Newt, the man of new ideas like cutting the size of government, and who can ignore Ron Paul, patron saint of doing nothing of interest to the American people other than getting rid of the government.
Finally, a hero has arrived. Rick Santorum, grandson of poor Italian immigrants is entitled to the nomination just by that fact. He believes in God. He adores God. He loves his family. He loves God. He loves America. He loves God. With God’s help the economy will be restored and all Americans will once again dwell in the land of God.