Rob Ford Again!

Rob Ford has registered to run once again for the position of mayor of the great city of Toronto in the great nation of Canada. Based on reports from those at the scene, Rob was sort of sober, which is either a positive or negative event for the people of Toronto. As a fervent supporter of the man with the golden tongue it is necessary for me to inform the public why they should back up this rather hefty man– but do not get too close if he falls backward and sends you to a hospital. Let’s examine his record:

He has respect for taxpayers.
He will end the gravy train.
He has saved at least a billion dollars for the people of Toronto.
He is, in his own words, the “best mayor” of Toronto in history.
And, above all, “my track record speaks for himself.”

How many men can make these statements without having had a drink that morning? Put it this way, how can any sober politician match this record of achievement? We need a drunk in charge of society, not the sober idiots of the Tea Party. Drink up, and get off the floor, Mr. Ford, we are behind you– a rather long distance, in all honesty.