Santa Claus Enters Republican Primary!

Mr.  Kris Kringle registered in the state of Minnesota as a Republican and immediately threw his snow ball into the Republican race to secure the nomination for president. Kris was accompanied by his wife, Kate Kringle who  told the media although Michele Bachmann may have 24 foster children, she has 45 elf children and all are gainfully working so Newt Gingrich can not accuse them of being lazy young people. Unofficial reports indicate a Short People PAC has been formed to place ads in the media urging short folk to vote for Santa.

Santa made clear that he was a 1000% American boy, born in the cold state of Maine and now residing in an igloo in Minnesota. He promised, if elected, to create over 5,000,000 jobs since there is tremendous need for toys to sell to children and adults. Kris also wanted conservatives to know he will conserve all existing holidays and will celebrate Christmas in the White House. However, he also assured Muslims, Jews, atheists and all other religions that distribution of toys will continue for children of all backgrounds.

Santa promised to end pollution by ending use of cars and replacing them with sleds. He also made clear that he opposes abortion of deer or bear babies although it is OK to shoot their parents. Kris ensured one and all that Jesus has a place in his heart and he will continue to honor the Christ child as the son of God.

As far as foreign policy goes, Santa made clear he had traveled throughout the world, unlike other Republican candidates and knew every language on this planet. So, if you finally want an intelligent person in the White House, vote for the man who will make certain the White House is white covered.