This intrepid reporter caught up with Sarah Palin during her visit to India in order to uncover thoughts by among America’s most profound thinkers about life in India. This is an exclusive report from somewhere in India.
P: I am so happy to be in this nice place.
R: So, you like the sight of Mumbai and other Indian cities?
P: They sort of dress a bit different from folk in Alaska, and they sure don’t smell the right way.
R: You do know the location of India, don’t you?
P: We were on the plane so it was kind of hard knowing where we were going, north or south or east or west. I can say India is at the end of one of those directions.
R: What exactly do you know about India?
P: First, they are paying me in American dollars so I guess they have some sort of money system. Second, I believe that our Indians come from them, somehow. Third, they really speak a funny kind of English, not like we speak in Alaska.
R: You do know that it is a democracy?
P: My advisors made clear I was to praise their democracy. They also have a lot of people in this place.
R: After leaving here, will you visit American troops?
P: Oh, yeah, I sure will, and it will give me a chance to do some shopping in France.
P: You are not going to ask me trick questions like is France the place where they do a lot of loving and eat French fries, are you?
R: Absolutely not. By the way, what message will you be giving the people of India?
P: I want them to know that we sure appreciate their love of Jesus Christ. I want them to know abortion is a sin against God. And, I will express a bit of disappointment at not seeing more men and women carrying guns. Anyway, I sure hope they vote for Bristol in the next dance competition.