Scientology To Rescue

I do not know much about the Scientology religion, but an article in Vanity Fair concerning the love life of Tom Cruise has awakened my interest in this organization. Church leaders worked to arrange a mariage between Tom and a woman, at least a woman who met church standards. They organized a process of having women audition to become the next Mrs. Cruise. The church denies they ever auditioned women as possible Cruise girls.

One Nazanin Boniadi, a TV actress, was introduced to Tom, had dates with him, but was cast aside on grounds she failed to display sufficient public adulation of the  man she might marry. She told someone about the situation and was punished by the church and  made to scrub toilets with a toothbrush.

I do not know if this is true or false, but sort of like the idea of some church auditioning for me gorgeous women to become my wife. So, tell me, how do I sign up to join this church??