Suicide Tourism For Americans!

Voters in Zurich, Switzerland overwhelmingly voted down a proposed ban on tourists who come to their fair land in order to end their lives. So called, “tourism suicide” is most popular among those from Germany, France and the UK who have reached a point in their lives when it was best to end their lives. The concept of allowing people to terminate a painful life raises new issues in America. After all, we are a land in which if you are black, you ain’t OK, if you are an illegal immigrant that status is socially lower than a legal immigrant who never received permission from the Indians and just parked his body on American soil so why not go the next step?

1. If you lack health insurance, we can assist you to terminate things and thus save America loads of dough. Look at it this way, it ends hunger and reduces our national debt. Be a loyal American and just say, goodbye.

2. OK so you have not worked in three years. Look at it this way, if you get to Heaven the problem is solved since that part of the universe has full employment. And, you get to choose your job!

3. If you are tired of Fox News, Sarah and Michele and Rush and Glenn, why not end it all? I assure one and all, none of the previous individuals will be your neighbors in Heaven, they will be working for Fox News in Hell.

4. Stuck in high school in those boring classes and the exams which test irrelevant information, why not take the GED for Heaven? God is an equal opportunity employer, all welcomed!

5. Two hundred pounds overweight and can barely make it through the door? Why not just waddle up to Heaven where you choose your weight and can eat whatever desired?

6. If you are Mitch or Mike Or Mitt or Newt, you four could make a great band in that Big Rock Candy Mountain in the sky!

One must praise the Swiss, when it comes to making money, they will die for it.