Take Me To The Rock Of Mars!

I realize the Obama administration has a sound foreign policy which seeks to keep peace with the world, but it is unclear as to whether his Secretary of State John Kerry has spent any time with the Martian delegation. NASA cameras picked up a picture of a strange Martian rock which has a depressed red center and a white exterior. No such rock has ever before been found on Mars. Once again, the Obama administration has failed to keep the American people informed. If only free enterprise was in charge of these Martian expeditions we would already have made contact with the Martians and arranged for trade and commerce with our rocky neighbors up in the sky. Rhawn Joseph, a neuroscientist wants to know how come we Americans have not seen more pictures. How come we do not have the REAL STORY about the rock?

I checked with the office of Senator Ted Cruz and finally got some answers.

1. The “Martian rock” is, in reality, an example of Socialist medicine gone astray. Originally, the “rock” was one Jim Hightower, a Tea Party official from Dallas who was transformed by the Obama administration ray gun into a rock and shot up to Mars. Jim had simply gone to sign up for Obamacare when he was thus assaulted.

2. Ted told me there is a secret plan which is embedded in Obamacare to transpose captured Martian scientists into rocks and shoot them back to Mars. In time, they will tear off their rock exteriors and be able to display their new Earth bodies. Ted learned about this program, and single handedly made contact with these captured Martians. Ted told me this transformation is step one in the Tea Party plan to begin true capitalism anew on another planet.