Talks With Trumpians

In an endeavor to discover what is really happening within the newly elected Trump administration, I decided to chat with Trump supporters.

M: So, tell me Kellyanne, what about this story regarding Mitt Romney as Secretary of State?

K: Well, Fred, as you know, Mister Trump is America’s leading intellectual leaders. It is not within my realm of expertise to disagree, to dispute any and all decisions he makes. But, Mitt makes me, and other Trump supporters, just ill.

M: Ok, that explains things. What about this recount stuff, and the emails from Mister Trump indicating he is upset.

K: Well, Fred, as you know, Mr. Trump won in a  landslide. It is among the greatest victories in the history of American politics, a real landslide.

M: But, except for the winning margins of George Bush–5 and 35, every other election since 1980, witnessed a victory margin of over one hundred. Why do you call it a landslide?

K: Because it was. When Mr. Trump says he won by a landslide, it is true. Of course, the victory margin in popular votes would have been greater for him, but illegal immigrants and hundreds of thousands came over the Canadian border to vote for Hillary Clinton. If you doubt my statement, just read the Trump emails.

M: I bow to the Trump logic, if he says it was a landslide, who are we to doubt the words of a great American? Tell me,is it true that Mr. Trump plays in the sandbox when he gets angry?

K: Yes, but it is a Great Sandbox, the biggest Sandbox in human history. He so loves to throw dirt at the figures of Romney and Bush and Marco and Hillary, you have to understand he is under great pressure and needs some  physical outlet for his energy.