Terrorists Implant Explosives

New reports indicate plans by terrorists to implant explosives into human bodies which would allow a passenger on a plane to take a deep breath and blow himself up. This raises interesting possibilities.

1. Implant a truth serum into Sarah Palin so she can admit knowing absolutely nothing about the economy or world affairs.

2. Implant a drug that compels shit to emerge every time Newt Gingrich utters a falsehood.

3. Implant some knowledge into the mind of Michele Bachmann so she actually knows what was said about government by the Founding Fathers.

4. Implant into the mind of Congressman John Boehner pictures of starving Americans without work.

5. Implant a strong spine into the body of Barack Obama.