The American School Under Republican Rule

I listen carefully to what Republicans in Congress and around the nation say about schools in this country.


1. Class sizes will be 45 students.

2. Teachers will be paid no more than 20% over the minimum wage since more leads to feelings are being entitled.

3. The Board of Education will appoint a panel of McDonald’s managers to hire teachers. They know all about speeding up production.

4. All history textbooks would be submitted to the National Association of Manufacturers for their OK.

5. If kids want art there is always the local art museum.

6. The daily schedule will include four hours of test preparation.

7. During morning prayers, any Muslim student will be sent to work with the school custodian.

8. The local branch of the Tea Party will be authorized to decide who teaches.

9. After learning adding and subtracting, students will learn any additional math while working at the McDonald’s cash register.

10. World history will consist of any area that can be seen from the roof of the school.