The Election When No One Showed Up

During the past few days we have been reporting on an election which undoubtedly will change the lives of those living on this planet. It is the election in Egypt in which General Abdel Fatah al-Sisi is running against himself. Now, let’s be honest, it is very difficult for anyone to run against himself. After all, how can you express lies and anger against your own self? If you rig the election to prevent General Sisi from winning then it simply means General Sisi will win. The election was originally to last two days, but when those supervising polls did not have anyone show up to actually vote, what else could the government do but add on another day, give a holiday to all government employees, provide transportation and make clear, no vote, no pay.

Latest figures indicate about 46% voted. Of course, that is the figure issued by the government. In fairness, at least General Sisi was more honest than Adolf Hitler or Joseph Stalin because when they held an election, the vote always was 99.9% for them. A few guys were allowed to vote the other way in order to prove to the world, there was an opposition person. Oh, those who originally wanted to run for president decided to boycott the farce.