THE ULTIMATE CONSPIRACY!!

This intrepid reporter, despite continual death threats from the CIA and various other secret agencies, has refused to back down on informing the world of the best kept secret in human history. OSAMA BIN LADEN AND BARACK OBAMA ARE THE SAME PERSON! I understand that in revealing this story of intrigue and deception which is unparalleled in human history, I risk my job, let alone my life for revealing the truth. Let us return to the 1960s to a desert hilltop where a group of Muslim clerics gathered to concoct a fantastic plot. With them was the father of the man we call, “Osama bin Laden.” It was agreed to send the youngest son of Mr. Laden to Hawaii where a white woman was hired to pretend she gave birth to him. Do you realize there are NO pictures of the baby, “Barack Obama” in his crib, no pictures of mom holding him, there are no pictures because he was brought to Hawaii and placed in her arms!

The evidence is overwhelming this story is true. Osama bin Laden gave his birth date as somewhere in the late 1950s or early 1960s. FACT: Barack Obama was born in 1961. Is it a coincidence his birth date matches that of “Osama bin Laden?” FACT: Both men are about the same height. FACT: Both men have the same color of skin. FACT: Kenya is just across the water from Yemen! It was quite easy to get a man from Kenya to pretend he was the father of Barack Obama.

Naturally, a boy was hired who pretended to be the son of bin Laden. The years passed and eventually, Osama bin Laden was anxious to do the job for which he was destined–to be the first Muslim president of the United States. From a sanctuary in Illinois, Osama orchestrated the attack on 9/11. You will note there are NO pictures of “Barack Obama” at ground zero, of course not, he was in his secret hideaway in Illinois. The reason for delay in providing a copy of the birth certificate was the need to create false documents. Here is where the story becomes complex. The Bush family–remember that George Bush I did NOT overthrow Saddam Hussein in 1991 during the Gulf War. The reason is simple. The plan called for the Bush family and their oil corporation allies to gain control of Middle Eastern oil in exchange for allowing the son of bin Laden becoming president.

Confront reality. Could any sane person louse up an invasion, louse up an economy, transform budget surplus into budget deficits unless IT WAS PART OF THE PLAN TO CREATE CHAOS IN AMERICA! It was the chaos created by Bush that allowed Osama bin Laden to become president using the name of Barack Obama. Again, examine the evidence:

Barack Obama refuses to create jobs for Americans-why? He puts forth a convoluted health care plan no one understands. He ignores those unemployed. He sucks up to Wall Street bankers and hedge fund folk. The plan calls for mass chaos in America leading to the rise to prominence of nincompoops like Sarah Palin and idiot girl Michele Bachmann which will make even the most sane American seek to find solace in a voice from the outside.

So, what happened last week? We are witnessing the last stage of the plan. Again, examine evidence:

There is no picture of Osama bin Laden and Barack Obama together. Why?

The death of “Osama bin Laden” has made Barack Obama(ther real Osama) a hero to Americans.

Once elected for a second term, Barack(Osama) will urge Congress to impose Sharia law in order to quiet those in rebellion. Naturally, Sharia Law will come in the guise of “Christianity” but it simply places religious leaders in power.

The final denouement will witness Barack Obama divorcing his wife and marrying Sarah Palin. It will come out that Michele Bachmann and Newt Gingrich are secret lovers who are currently engaged in a menage a trois with his current wife. Pictures will shortly be flooding the Internet of Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh together in a hotel room. In the hysteria arising from these confusing events, martial law will be declared and this will open the door for Sharia law. After all, we Americans execute more folk than other nations, so we would love to chop off hands of thieves(not Wall Street ones).

For those Jews who actually believe Republicans are good for Jews, we regret to inform you that at this very moment concentration camps are being built for American Jews once Osama bin Laden has all power.

I trust you agree, THIS IS THE CONSPIRACY TO END ALL CONSPIRACIES!!!

FLASH! I just given a secret document that was found in a cave in Israel. The entire story I provided may actually turn out to be false if this document is true. According to the document, the entire story described was concocted by a group of Rabbis meeting at midnight in Transylvania. In reality, Barack Obama is a JEW who poses as a Christian and Muslim in order to hide the real truth–JEWS ARE PLANING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!! Oh Jesus, what next??

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