TODAY’S NON NEWS

Following are stories of absolutely no importance .

Today, Tiger Woods neither crashed his car or slept with a woman other than his wife.

President Barack Obama did not accept a prize for doing nothing other than being president.

George Bush spent the day chopping wood which is a lot better for America than chopping lives.

Don Rumsfeld stood for over an hour and did not cry out that he was being tortured.

The Republican party did not claim it supported any aspect of national health insurance.

The New York Yankees did not spend $100 million to sign a player today.

Paris Hilton was not spotted hauling garbage into a truck.

Rush Limbaugh spent an entire five minutes being happy about America.

Dow Jones did not drop a thousand points.

Oprah hugged several people.

Tony Blair did not interview for a job running any aspect of the European Union.