True Confession About Guns

I feel compelled by a sense of patriotism to reveal a secret plan in which those seeking to destroy all that we hold dear about the United States is threatened by “the government.” Hidden in the Rocky Mountains is a secret base  in which special forces are being trained to launch an attack on ALL American homes that possess at least one weapon. At midnight, on a day that presently can not be revealed, over 300,000 special troops will bang down the doors of your home and seize any weapon they can find. This will be the first blow to end democracy and free speech in our wonderful nation.

By accident while hiking in the Rocky Mountains I came across a memo written on White House stationary which describes this assault on the American people. My attempts to have the media print this memo have met with failure. Two newspaper  reporters who were going to write a story about the memo, died in what was termed a “car accident.”

Those who were among the 2,945,000 who purchased a gun in January are advised to hide their weapons and prepare for the revolution that must come which will drive Muslim president Barack Obama from office and restore democracy in this nation.

Please, next time, elect Mitt and mitigate against losss of freedom!