After reading accounts by members of the Organization for Security and Cooperation in Europe, this intrepid reporter flew to the Ukraine in order to get the truth about what is happening from members of Separatist loyal decent east Ukraine folk.
M: I read reports that you folks fired upon members of the OSCE. Is that true?
S: Absolutely false. We were camped in the forest having a marshmallow roast when we were attacked by some foreign forces.
M: What did they do, pray tell?
S: We saw some strange creatures wandering around picking up body parts. They were obviously ghouls embarked on a campaign to gather bodies in order to extract their blood.
M: Sounds sort of ghoulish to me. I thought they were collecting bodies of those killed in the M17 crash.
S: Fred, you are not that naive, are you? What crash? There never was any crash.
M: But, I read stories and saw pictures about the M17 plane from Malaysia which was shot down in eastern Ukraine.
S: I suppose you also believe in fairies. Let me explain the truth. German fascists loaded a plane with corpses, they sent it headed toward Mother Russia, and as it passed over eastern Ukraine, a bomb inside the plane was timed to go off. Down came the plane, and down came the corpses.
M: Wow! I was sure fooled.
S: Due to the efforts of the beloved President Vladimir Putin, we rushed to the scene of this tragedy in hope of finding any living people. But, we could not allow these Fascist ghouls to recover the corpses, and suck out any blood still in them. We are decent Christian folk.
M: But, why are these Fascists doing these things?
S: The German Nazis failed to defeat Mother Russia in World War II, and now they are launching World War III. Thank God, the Great Leader Putin stands guard on the towers of peace.
M: Yes, thank God for our Great Leader. Do you think he might come to America and bring peace, and prosperity to our shores??