After listening to the collection of rather interesting men and women who seek the Republican nomination for president I am left with the only option of throwing my name into the ring. Let me list qualifications that would attract the American people.
1. I know the location of Afghanistan and Iraq on a map of the world.
2. I put one shoe on at a time.
3. I am a job creator. I wish to take money from the wealthy and redistribute the money to unemployed people and have them rebuild our infrastructure. That would certainly create jobs.
4. I am dead set against taxes unless they are on the wealthy so put me down as an anti-tax man.
5. I believe in God. Of course, the God I believe in is in the next universe.
6. I am against abortion unless the baby is a Republican, then it is a crap shoot as to whether the child lives.
7. I support the Israel which seeks compromise and peace with Arab people.
8. I believe terrorists should be sent directly to jail without worrying about a trial and let’s begin with the terrorists on Fox News!
9. When saluting the flag I place my hand over my butt in order to show respect for the assholes in Congress.
10. I stand opposed to immigrants entering our fair land. We must begin to return immigrants to their homeland. Of course, we have a minor problem in rounding up 300,000,000 and sending them back home. But, fair is fair, if one immigrant is sent home so should all immigrants!