Wanted–Suicide Bombers Who Seek Heaven!

The situation is becoming desperate in Iraq these days, it is difficult to even find a nice, non-shaven foreign born man who is willing to put on a vest loaded with explosives and blow himself up in order to serve the dictates of his religion and get himself a nice final resting place up in Heaven– or wherever one goes who kills self and others. According to Iraq Foreign Minister Hoshyr Zebari, “the shortage of suicide bombers is because Islamic fundamentalists are more interested in Afghanistan and Pakistan these days.” They figure the Americans will soon be gone, and they have used up the supply of foreigners who enjoy killing themselves so what is one to do about the situation? We wish to offer a solution to the Iraq al-Qaeda which should simplify there quest for suicide bombers. Get a cartoonist, have him draw cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad in some sort of unusual situation, and print them in Iraq. That is certain to arouse the anger of young men and among them one can find a new source of suicide bombers. Or, get some women to walk through the streets holding hands with a strange man, that in itself, should bring in at least twenty suicide bombers.

Of course, as a last resort, al-Qaeda, Iraq, can hold contests or bake sales to raise money or whatever, in order to get new suicide bombers. How about the slogan:”buy a cupcake to help purchase vests for young men they can use to blow themselves up.”

It is time for al-Qaeda, Iraq, to think outside the box and employ creative thinking to get new suicide bombers.