Ways Of Suicide By Naked Folk

I feel very safe knowing that a former professor of Constitutional law is our president rather than a yahoo from the plains of Texas. However, for some strange reason the former Constitutional professor has become a supporter of yahoos in the military. Bradley Manning committed a heinous crime, one that certainly deserves execution at dawn. Did he kill someone? No. is he a serial rapist? No. Did he rob people of their life savings like Bernie Madoff? No. He is responsible for Wikileaks and thus deserves the worst treatment known to man. During the continued assault on his mind and body by guards, he cracked a joke about using the waistband in his underwear to commit suicide or use his flip flops. So, each night, he is stripped naked and when he awakes in the morning must stand naked at attention.

We examined ways of a man in pajamas committing suicide:

1. He can bang his head against the bars or a wall until he is dead.

2. He could wrap the sleeves of his top around his neck until he strangles himself.

3. He can shit in his underwear until the fumes kill him.

4. He can hit himself over the head with his flip flops.

5. He can stuff the flip flops down his throat until he suffocates.

6. He can piss in his underwear until he has accumulated enough water to drown himself.

Barack, did you ever discuss this case in your classes?