Weiner By Any Name Is A Weener

I like Anthony Weiner who has fought for the rights of disadvantaged Americans for years and stood up to defend New York City firemen and policemen when Republicans wanted to cut funds for their medical expenses incurred on 9/11. Weiner is a good man. A decent man. Obviously, the real issue facing him today is not why he defended the 9/11 rescuers, but why does he defend that thing protruding from his underwear. Weiner claims someone hacked into his email system and somehow enhanced the figure of the bulge down below and made it come across as much larger. We have some minor problems in America–unemployment, health care, collapsing infrastructure and zooming college costs, but it is important to solve the problem of what is it that is bulging from his underpants.

1. There is a possibility the bulge might be coming from an enhanced photo of Dick Cheny’s down below. After all, who is the biggest
P—k in America?

2. It could be a slightly enlarged penis of Newt Gingrich since he is probably the man who has most used that part of the body in order to seduce women who then became a mistress.

3. If we are going to discuss the Pricks of America, that means the photo could belong to any male member of the Tea Party.

4. On the other hand, I sort of lean to the protrusion being a part of the lower half of Mitt Romney who is willing to take any stance for any reason. This could be his way of showing Republicans he really does have the balls to be president.

5. Then again, it could be Sarah Palin dressed in a male costume. She constantly boasts about having the balls of a man, why not then the balls of a man?