After considerable reflection, it is time for me to finally reveal the real secret of the giant oil leak which has been spreading over the Gulf of Mexico. I realize some will blame BP or Transocean or the ever available Halliburton, but these companies are innocent of any wrong-doing. Fox News has yet to reveal the truth about the oil spill, but expect their story to shortly emerge. The fault was, as always, BARACK OBAMA! Once you elect one of those black folk as president it raises questions about how someone born in Africa could effectively run this advanced industrial society. Barack was on one of his nightly visits to the rig when he decided to light up a cigarette(he just can’t break the habit) and threw away the match. The match was still lit and caught fire when it hit some papers. From that point the flames hit oil, unleashed a firestorm and the rest is history. Of course, the president was flown out of the doomed rig as part of a CIA cover-up operation.
Naturally, the LIBERAL MEDIA is attempting to cast blame on our wonderful oil companies who risk their lives and those of their workers in order to provide low cost gas to Americans. They are as innocent as was George Bush when he invaded Iraq. There WERE WMD and George was right, but liberals secreted away the WMD in order to make Bush look foolish.
If you want to avoid oil spills, elect Ron Paul, a man who understands that America can only be saved in business organizations are allowed to do as they damn well please.