WHY I WANT TO LEAVE PLANET EARTH

I am an Earthian who desires to make contact with any planet that contains intelligent life forms. Let me explain the situation on this planet that its inhabitants refer to as Earth:

1. The US Congress proposes eliminating funding for Sesame Street but maintaining funding for NASCAR.

2. President Barack Obama, a former Community Organizer, proposes slashing in half funds for Community Organizers and groups.

3. Republican leader, John Boehner, says cutting federal funding and firing a few hundred thousand employees is part of his program to create jobs.

4. The population of the planet will rise from 7 billion inhabitants to 9 billion according to a UN report. The US Congress wants to eliminate family planning money.

5. The Republican party secured over a hundred million in donations from the Chamber of Commerce and will repay them by ending the right of government employees to collectively bargain.

6. Barack Obama is to Socialism as Sarah Palin is to showing concern for poor people.

7. There are 17 million unemployed people in the US and not a single intelligent plan has been proposed to get them back to working.

8. The most important issue confronting America according to Sarah Palin and Congresswoman Bachman is being able to deduct from the income tax money spent to purchase a breast pump.

9. The Stock market has risen from 7,000 when Obama took office to 11,300 today. That’s why businessmen call Obama, “anti-business.”

10. Wall Street folk received over a hundred billion dollar bonuses under the administration of anti-business Barack Obama.

11. Business corporations have 2 trillion in their accounts but refuse to spend this money to create jobs. Lack of jobs is due to “government regulations.”

12. Wealthy Americans believe it is a communist plot to make them pay the top income tax rate of 39% instead of the Capitalist rate of 36%.

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