World Headlines In The Press

Each week we offer a review of headlines that appeared in the world’s press and offer our own commentary.

New Zealand, New Zealand Herald: “Sheep Dogs Being Poisoned”
Detective Wolf has been appointed to shepherd the investigation.

Australia, Brisbane Times: “Bushwalker Finds Body”
It was lying next to some WMD.

Sweden, The Local: “Swedish Scientists Perfect Heart Disease Test”
We can now guarantee when you will die.

Qatar, Gulf Times: “Band Reaches Top”
They banged their way upward.

Kuwait, Arab Times: “Iraqi Prime Minister Agrees With Obama Timetable”
“Iraqi Prime Minister Does Not Agree With Obama Timetable”
Now, you know why we have problems winning anything in Iraq.

Saudi Arabia, Saudi Gazette: “Old Woman Dies Driving”
If she was driving in New York traffic it was from old age.

Norway, Aftenposten: “Summer Set For Comeback”
It expects to arrive shortly before Christmas.

Australia, The Age: “Made In China
Untouched by foreign hands.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Not Easy Being A Jew In Beirut”
Yeh, try being one in Saudi Arabia!

Australia, Sydney Morning Herald: “Guilty of Claiming To Be A Doctor”
What’s the problem, he was treating people who claimed to be patients.

Bangladesh, Daily Star: “Party Leader Violates Code Of Conduct”
He was caught telling the truth.

Australia, “Pope’s Secret Mass”
It was given in Hebrew.

Kuwait, Kuwait Times: “Recycling Workshop For Children”
They are being recycled into human beings.

Bhutan, Bhutan Times; “Man Arrested For Allegedly Murdering Wife”
It is believed she is allegedly dead.

Qatar, Gulf Times: “College Dean Found Drinking In Office”
If you had to read student term papers, drinking would be the only way to survive.

Russia, Moscow Times: “Parrots Killed For Beer”
If you go around blabbing where the beer is hidden, then face the consequences.